The Weakness in Me
by wolvesjr34
Summary: Jane and Maura have been married for five years, and have a four year old son, Liam. Unfortunately married life has gotten difficult and Jane finds herself falling for the new ADA, Erica Hayden. Will Jane be able to save her marriage? Or will everything fall apart around her? Rizzoli & Isles belongs to TNT and Tess Gerritson, I'm just... breaking fictional hearts because I can.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Pet project, be warned, happy rizzles ending unlikely (possible, but unlikely - to be clear my INTENTION IS DIVORCE... but I refuse to rule out reconciliation, because I let stories tell themselves, and I love rizzles so yeah... we good now... I intend this to be heartbreaking, so don't read for a 5% chance of happy... consider it UNHAPPY).**

 **Deals with infidelity and the breakdown of a Rizzles marriage... we start smack bang at the turning point (flashbacks will be used to tell more of the back story as I go). Not a priority fic right now, still focused on Catch 22... but my muse had an itch to scratch. If you want fluff, go elsewhere (there might be some, but there's a tonne of drama and angst too). Feel free to feel what you want about Jane and Maura in this, and you can bluntly criticise them, but don't be bashing me for writing something different... because you have been warned!**

* * *

With one final heave, Jane emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl and flushed. She climbed to her feet and walked over to the sink, where she quickly washed her hands, rinsed out her mouth with mouth wash and splashed some water on her face. She felt absolutely wretched and wondered how she had ended up in the position she was in. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and realised she didn't recognise the woman staring back at her. Sure she actually felt refreshed for the first time in months and she had a certain glow about her, but her dark chocolate coloured eyes betrayed the truth. She was haunted by everything she was feeling, everything she had done and the thoughts of the decision to come.

She pulled her hair band from around her wrist and quickly tied her dark curls back into a pony tail before turning on her heel and exiting the en-suite. She strolled into the unfamiliar, but modern stylish bedroom and couldn't help the smile that graced her lips. "Good morning Beautiful."

"God, you are obnoxiously cheery this morning Jane," huffed the blonde indignantly as she untangled from the sheets and stepped off the bed in the search for some clothes.

Jane's smirk hid the inner turmoil she felt incredibly well, but then watching the gorgeous blonde soothed her in ways she couldn't comprehend. She walked up behind her companion and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Must be the company," she husked out seductively.

"Insatiable too, it seems." The blonde turned around and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. "Last night wasn't enough for you detective?"

Jane stiffened briefly at the reality; she had spent the night and crossed so many lines, so many lines that she wouldn't be able to return from. A melancholic sigh escaped her lips right before her lips found those of the woman in her arms. Mouths met eager but gentle, the passion of the night before long gone, replaced with a tenderness that only confused the situation further for both women.

They eventually pulled apart, but Jane brought her forehead to rest against her companion's. The playfulness she had been conveying disappeared for a more serious demeanour, her eyes fluttered shut and she whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I should probably be asking you that," was the soft reply. She wasn't a fool; she understood exactly the delicacy of the situation and the toll it was taking on the detective.

Jane sighed and pulled away, she leaned over and picked up some of her companion's clothing and handed them to her. "Get dressed," it wasn't an outright dismissal, but it was an obvious request for a few minutes to process.

She smiled softly and headed to the en-suite. "We're not finished here," she said seriously before closing the door, giving the space requested.

Jane found her pants and quickly pulled them on before she grabbed her deep red button down top and slid it on over her tank. She sat on the edge of the bed and slowly did the buttons up on automatic pilot. Her thoughts were elsewhere as she pondered whether she was indeed okay. In all honesty she was completely torn; she knew she should feel bad for what had happened the night before, perhaps even more so for what had been slowly unravelling in front of her over the course of the previous six months, but she didn't, at least not enough.

She listened as her companion turned the shower on and felt grateful for the extra time she was being afforded, the trust too, because it would be so easy for her to slip out and not have the conversation she knew they had to have. What was this between them? Where do they go from here? Jane knew that in the end she held final say over the course of this relationship, because she was the one with everything to lose. She sighed and tried to push the thoughts of a smiling sandy haired boy from her mind. God she loved her son, but if not for him the blurred lines might be a little less blurred.

 _I wanna stay here in this moment; make the earth stand impossibly still. Disappear in your kiss, we'll never be missed._

The familiar ringtone broke the relative silence and had Jane searching her pockets anxiously until she could pull it out and answer. "Hey Hon," she managed a smile.

" _Hello Jane, I thought I would just check in and see how you're coping home all alone? Liam is having a great time with Mother, but he misses you._ "

"Sucks without him, I miss him so much. Don't let your Mother spoil him too much though hey?" She wondered when she became so tactfully good at deceiving her wife. She suppressed a sigh and asked with some of her customary charm, "Miss me yet?"

A soft chuckle reverberated down the line, " _Yes, of course I miss you Jane. It's not the same without you, but we'll be home soon enough._ "

"Counting down the hours." She listened to her wife call their son over to the phone and smiled, this was admittedly her favourite part of when they went away.

" _Somebody wants to say hello…_ " the phone was passed over.

" _Mama!_ " Liam's bright and bubbly voiced echoed excitedly down the line.

"Hey Kiddo, I've missed you so much. Are you being good for Mom?" Jane asked with a grin.

" _Always good Mama._ "

Jane chuckled, knowing for an absolute fact that was decidedly untrue. "Well make sure you try extra hard and I'll see you soon okay Liam?" She listened as he enthusiastically agreed before the phone was handed back to his Mom. "So you'll be home around five tomorrow?"

" _That is correct. I have to go, Mother has brunch planned. I love you, Jane._ "

"I love you too, Maur." Jane ended the call and held the phone to her forehead, the weight of what she had done hitting extra hard after hearing the voice of her wife, her best friend, her confidant… her whole life. "Fuck," she growled angrily, barely containing the desire to hurl the phone across the room.

Maura had taken their son to visit with Constance while she was in New York and the same night they left she had found herself in another woman's bed. Jane's hands curled into tight fists as she punished herself physically for what she had done; but it wasn't just any woman. It was the new Assistant District Attorney, and they had become fast friends and had in some ways been hurtling towards this moment since they met. Erica Hayden was pure down to earth, beer swilling, Red Sox loving charm and it had drawn her in and she fought it desperately; they both had, but it was more than physical attraction and that had eventually been Jane's undoing.

Her heart clenched in her chest as her thoughts raced through the consequences of her actions and the realisation that she had a decision to make. She couldn't just cheat on her wife with no end in sight, and if she ended whatever it was that was happening between her and Erica, she still had to come clean, otherwise the guilt would eat her alive. It was already doing a damn fine job at that.

"I don't think this can happen again," Erica said with as much stoicism as she could find. She stood in the doorway to the en-suite and watched Jane keenly, aware of the torment that blazed a path across tired looking Italian features. "You love your wife and son; this was a mistake that can't happen again."

Jane shook her head before she buried it in her hands; she was being given an out and yet a part of her didn't want out. It felt good to feel desired, because she sure hadn't been feeling that way at home; but could she really blame Maura for focusing on their son? God she was such a jerk, that's all she could settle on, because damn if she didn't just want to erase the distance between them and take Erica one more time for good measure.

Finally she said with some conviction, "No, this wasn't a mistake. Bad timing maybe." Jane felt enough for the ADA to not want to label what they had done a mistake. She deserved more than that. "It wouldn't have happened if I didn't…"

"I know." Erica said softly, sitting down next to the detective. It was more than lust that had preceded their sexual entanglement the night before. She was not the type to just sleep around, especially with married women, even more so when she had to work with both spouses from time to time. No, there were real feelings involved, but she knew enough to know that whatever Jane was feeling paled in significance to what she absolutely did feel for her wife.

Erica sighed and closed her eyes, her hands clasped together and buried in her lap. Attempting to end their tryst was exponentially harder than she thought it would be, because she had fallen head over stylish, yet affordable heels for the detective. She felt a strong arm snake its way around her shoulders and tug her toward a warm chest, before she felt a soft kiss placed at her hairline. "Jane," she warned half heartedly.

Jane tilted Erica's chin so that she could look down into her bright blue eyes and reiterate, "You are not a mistake." She then leaned forward and pressed their lips together, before running her tongue along Erica's mouth seeking desperate entrance and being granted such. It was a slow languid exploration that was meant to be goodbye, but she just couldn't do it.

Erica broke the kiss long enough to roll over so that she was straddling Jane's lap on the edge of the bed. She cupped the detective's face with her hands and hungrily found her mouth again, this time with more force. It was sloppy, wet and very messy as desire coursed its way through them both. Finally she pulled away for much needed breath, which came short and ragged, her pupils were dilated and her cheeks flushed. She was beyond aroused when she growled throatily, "I don't think I can stop."

Jane's fingers dug into her companion's hips, her own breath returning rapidly. Her chest heaved and her eyes kept falling to Erica's lips; this was not supposed to happen again, but then she decided she'd already made the mistake, she might as well go big. "Then don't," she responded firmly.

Erica slipped her arms around Jane's neck and looked searchingly into the darkened pools of chocolate staring right back. The affection she found was disconcerting and it only made her chest ache with longing. She buried her face in the crook of Jane's neck, breathing in a delicious combination of lavender and vanilla. Using the last of what inner resolve she had left she mumbled, "We have to stop."

The warm breath of her lover tickled Jane's skin, which definitely wasn't helping her resolve to listen to what she was being told. Her heart was thudding rapidly in her chest and she felt the familiar warmth permeating throughout her entire body just from their closeness. Her desire to be close to this woman was fuelled by more than lust; she craved intimacy. "I don't want to stop," Jane admitted with a whisper.

Erica pressed her lips tenderly against the skin beneath her mouth, "I know sweetheart. I don't want to either, but if we stop now your life doesn't have to be turned upside down. I promise you I will not tell Maura what happened between us." She deliberately mentioned Jane's wife as a cooling reminder to help the detective do the right thing. Erica couldn't bare the thought of being responsible for Jane being broken hearted, and she knew if her marriage ended that was exactly what Jane would be.

Jane's arms shifted and wrapped tightly around the waist of the body pressed against her. She knew exactly what Erica was doing by mentioning Maura and it only made her want the ADA more. She felt genuinely cared for and loved; it was that thought that sobered the situation. Guilt slammed into her body heavily as she only tightened her grasp even more. She felt the hot sting of tears slipping down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry," she rasped through her sobs.

And she was sorry. Incredibly sorry because there were four hearts that were going to end up broken because of her actions. Her own, Erica's, Maura's and her precious baby boy who was not going to understand why his Mama wasn't living at home anymore. Because Maura was going to kick her out, of that she had no doubt.

Erica felt the jolt of heartache shoot through her chest, but she felt something more, fear. She was suddenly worried that Jane was going to make another mistake. She pulled away so that she could search the detective's eyes for what she feared and through the tears she saw it. "No," she said harshly, "Don't you dare break her heart Jane."

Jane averted her gaze and mumbled, "I have to tell her the truth. I can't keep this from her."

"And then what Jane? What good does that do anyone? You'll break her heart and your heart and what about Liam huh? Is he going to understand?" Erica was internally cursing herself, she knew what Jane was like and she wished she had been able to think of this before falling into bed with the woman. "Don't do it Jane," she reiterated her stance, "I love you too damn much to watch you break your own heart like that."

Jane's head snapped up and her gaze found the truth staring back at her from bright, teary, blue eyes. "But it's okay to break your heart?"

"I'll be fine," she didn't really believe it, but she wasn't going to be any more responsible for the breaking up of a family than she already was. Perhaps if she didn't like Maura it would be easier to be selfish and encourage Jane to leave her wife; but she did like Maura, it was too hard not to.

Erica placed a soft peck on Jane's lips and climbed off her lap. "This won't happen again and you will go home and wait for your wife and son to return to you and you will never breathe a word of this to anyone. Are we clear on that?" She spoke in what bordered on her in court cross examination tone.

Jane never really had a chance to answer because her phone started ringing. It was dispatch. "Rizzoli," she answered as she got to her feet and checked her pockets to make sure she had her keys. She offered an apologetic smile towards Erica before strolling out of the bedroom, "I'm on my way."


	2. Chapter 2

"Mama, I missed you!" Liam exclaimed excitedly as he dashed away from Maura and tackled Jane's legs from behind, wrapping them up in a hug.

Jane turned to look at her son and smiled, she knelt down and pulled him firmly into her arms and hugged him tight. She planted several soft kisses on the crown of his head before murmuring, "Hey Kiddo, I missed you too." Her eyes then trailed from her son up towards her wife, who offered a soft, but worn smile, before disappearing upstairs with the luggage.

Liam leaned in towards Jane's ear and whispered, "Mom's sad."

Jane frowned, "Why is she sad buddy? You didn't give her a hard time did you?"

Liam shrugged and looked anywhere but at his Ma, until his eyes fell on Angela and he cried out "Nona," excitedly.

Jane watched her son run over to her mother and sighed. "Can you keep an eye on him for a minute Ma? I wanna check on Maura."

Angela simply waved her daughter away; of course she would be happy to keep an eye on her adorable grandson, with his gorgeous sandy blonde hair and deep brown eyes. "Go, I've got this." She said, recognising that her daughter was waiting for a verbal confirmation.

In some ways Jane was glad that family dinner was happening, and in other ways she knew it was only delaying the inevitable conversation that she had to have with her wife. Despite the inevitability of where she imagined that conversation was going, she was concerned enough to bound up the stairs to make sure Maura was alright.

She clearly wasn't.

Jane found her wife sitting on their bed sobbing and it broke her heart. Maura crying was always the worst thing; it made her feel uncomfortable, because it was like a game of Clue sometimes, trying to work out what would make her feel better. She did want to make her feel better, even now when everything felt completely out of control and messy. "Maura, honey? What's wrong?" She sat down next to her wife and pulled her into a side hug.

Maura remained rigid in the embrace for a few moments before relaxing. Still she sat stoically, silent tears rolling down her face, she didn't want to complain, or explain or feel really. Eventually she sighed, recognising Jane's interrogation technique of sitting silently and waiting for the suspect to sing. "Am I a bad mother?"

Jane was shocked to say the least. Of all the things she could question Maura on her mothering was not and never would be one of those things. In fact Jane had been impressed by her wife's patience and unconditional love towards their son. It was the one thing where Jane knew her love and trust of Maura would never waver. "No. Never." Jane answered firmly.

"I think he hates me, Jane."

Jane closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in and out heavily; bracing herself for the reassurance she knew she had to give. She let go of her hold on her wife and moved so that she could kneel down in front of her, taking both of Maura's hands in her own. "Look at me," she waited until she had the unwavering attention of teary hazel eyes and said, "He's a kid Maur, it's his job to push boundaries and test our limits. He's going to throw a tantrum from time to time and you know this. It's not personal. He loves you Maura, you're his mom."

Maura shook her head slightly, "He loves _you_ Jane. The moment he sees you he's in your arms and on his best behaviour."

Jane pressed her lips against delicate knuckles and continued with the reassurance. "That's because I'm not around as much, and then when I am I do stupid things to make it up to him, like letting him have ice cream for dinner." She winced sheepishly at the withering glare, "One time, it was one time Maur…but kids remember that I guess. I'm sorry, okay? He loves you. You wanna know how I know that?"

Maura tilted her head in the cute quizzical way that always made Jane's heart flutter. "Please," she encouraged.

"Downstairs just now, he told me you were sad. He's a smart kid, smart enough to look guilty when I asked if he had been giving you a hard time." She gave a reassuring squeeze of the hands she held, "But he knows that it's Mama's job to look after Mom so he made sure I knew." A giant stab of guilt struck her gut when she realised the disappointment her son would one day feel when he learned that his Ma was the cause of his Mom's sadness.

God, she had really made a mess of everything. She felt guilty for her actions on Friday night, but it was eating at her in such a way that she felt guilty for providing the reassurance and affection her wife needed. She felt unworthy of being the one to make Maura feel better. She shuddered involuntarily at the realisation that very soon Maura wouldn't be looking at her with love and affection. She let go of the hands she held with a weak smile and stood up. "Come on, let's go and enjoy a nice family dinner, k?"

* * *

Family dinner was typically Rizzoli in its boisterous nature, but Jane found herself unable to join in with the ridiculous stories that Frankie and Tommy were spinning. She nodded and smiled from time to time, but her head was elsewhere. She sat next to Maura, like always, and at one point reached under the table and gave her knee a reassuring squeeze. The complete look of shock on her wife's face made her think back on recent dinners and it dawned on her how little they touched; but the fact it had reached the point that Maura was surprised by her reassuring squeeze left Jane feeling incredibly sad.

She found that she was a lot more alert to all their nuances and how they had changed over the years, to the point that her reassurance of Maura upstairs before dinner was entirely out of character. She wondered when she had stopped being so attentive? She had to contain a frustrated growl that wanted to push its way out of her throat the more she thought about it. She pushed her gnocchi around on her plate, she really wasn't that hungry anymore.

A sideways glance at Maura told another tale of how things had changed; sure she was still stunningly beautiful, Jane was pretty sure that would never change even when she was old and grey, but there were telling frown lines that hadn't been there once before. Again Jane wondered how she hadn't noticed these things, and her eyes, God her eyes just seemed dull and broken. Broken was not a word she ever thought she would use to describe her wife, but the more she took time to really study her, the more she recognised it and the more she loathed herself.

Recognising that she needed a moment alone she excused herself from the table and wandered into the kitchen, where she pulled out a bottle of beer from the fridge and popped the top. She stood at the kitchen window, looked out at the backyard and sighed. She took a long draw from the bottle and felt a presence tuck in beside her; something else that hadn't happened for as long as she could remember, Maura actually following her to make sure she was okay.

She frowned, unable to decide who was at fault for the state of their marriage. It was no doubt a combination of both of them, but damnit she was a Rizzoli and she knew the meaning of family, she should have done more. "I did this," she muttered, mostly to herself.

Maura smiled weakly and rubbed her hand in soothing motions on her wife's back. "No, we did this. There is no I in this scenario Jane, only an us."

Jane almost leaned into the soothing hand and closed her eyes. "You don't even know what I'm talking about Maura." There was no malice behind her words, just an almost resigned defeat.

Maura sighed sadly, because she did know exactly what Jane meant. She wrapped her arms around her wife and pressed flush against her back, an intimacy she knew she rarely offered anymore. With a tenderness that belied the reality of the situation she brought her head to rest on Jane's shoulder. "You're talking about the distance between us."

Jane sighed. "I forgot that you were a genius." It might have been funny once upon a time, but it was just a statement of fact in that moment.

She sat the bottle down on the bench and turned around so that she was looking directly at her wife, who had much to her surprise, maintained her hold. It felt so good to be close to Maura, but that nagging voice of her conscience reminded her that it was only temporary, that once the truth came out it would all be gone. She swallowed thickly and brought her forehead to rest against Maura's. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes." Maura knew that their marriage was crumbling around her and that they were both equally unhappy, but she would never doubt Jane's love for her; it was the one constant of Maura Rizzoli's universe. She shifted her hands from Jane's waist and wrapped her arms around her neck. She pressed a gentle kiss against her wife's lips and was surprised by the vigour with which Jane returned the kiss. A contented sigh escaped her lips when she murmured, "I love you too, Jane. Always."

Her heart absolutely shattered upon hearing those words. She wasn't the woman Maura thought she was and she hated herself for it. She pulled her wife into a crushing hug and held her tightly pressing light kisses into her hairline. She knew she couldn't put it off any longer; they had to talk that night. "I think Ma should watch Liam tonight," she husked out emotionally.

Maura pulled away, nodded and pecked Jane's lips lightly. "I think that might be best."

* * *

"Sooooo," Jane drew out after closing the door behind her mother and son. She briefly wondered if maybe she could forget her betrayal and instead focus on finding ways to fix her marriage, but soon realised that keeping a secret betrayal from her wife was never going to end well. If she truly honestly wanted to salvage her marriage then she would need to be honest and do the hard work that would be required to rebuild Maura's trust in her – if indeed she could.

"We should talk," Maura offered softly, patting the spot on the couch next to her. She waited for Jane to get comfortable next to her before asking the most pertinent question that came to mind. "Do you want a divorce?"

That was so typically blunt Maura, straight to the point, there was no sense in beating around the bush after all. The words hit like a punch to the gut and she visibly winced at the entire situation. She could lie and say that she wanted a divorce and save Maura from the heartache of knowing her wife cheated, or she could tell the truth and admit that she didn't want a divorce, but that she had well and truly fucked up. That rather than asking if Jane wanted a divorce, she might just be telling Jane that _she_ wanted a divorce.

Finally, after the silence extended out long enough to make her wife nervous, Jane responded. "No, I don't want a divorce. I don't want to give up on you, on us."

Maura sighed in relief, she had genuinely been worried that Jane would want to escape the relationship, rather than work at making it stronger again. "I don't want to give up, either Jane. I'm so sorry that I've let things get so bad…"

Jane put her hand up in a stop motion. "Don't, please don't." She couldn't sit there and listen to Maura make apologies, because no matter her part in getting them where they were, she had remained faithful and it sickened Jane to listen to Maura try and take responsibility. "I'm a terrible communicator and just because you knew that going in, doesn't make any of this your fault. Like you said, it's about us, not I."

"You haven't been happy for a long time," Maura observed.

Jane shrugged, "Neither have you."

"I'm sorry," Maura averted her eyes to her hands tucked neatly in her lap; the guilt she felt prevented her from meeting the emotional gaze of her wife.

Jane ran a hand through her hair, nervousness getting the better of her as she tried to find the right words for breaking her wife's heart. "Maura," the seriousness in her tone caused her wife to look up and meet her head on. "I need to tell you something."

She could see Maura trying to read her features for an indication of what was to come, and when she visibly flinched and pulled back into the arm of the couch Jane figured her face had given enough away. "The thing is, you're right, I haven't been happy and instead of coming to you… I just sort of let things drift. You were so focused on not turning into Constance that I didn't have the heart to ask you to pay attention to me."

Maura's eyes went wide at the implication, but then her brain started sifting through the mental drawer that represented her marriage and her face crumpled at the realisation that she had been so focused on Liam to Jane's detriment. "Jane, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't," Jane said a little harder than she intended, she quickly softened her features in silent apology. "I don't deserve your apologies Maura… God, I'm so, so sorry." She felt the tears stinging her cheeks and huffed out in frustration, she was already crying and she hadn't even had the guts to say what needed to be said. "I slept with another woman on Friday night."

The words lingered in the air, sucking the oxygen between them into a vacuum. Jane held her breath in anticipation of her wife's wrath, while Maura stared slack jawed at Jane, turning the words over in her mind repeatedly.

"Say something?" Jane begged, deathly afraid of the silence. Silence with Maura was never a good thing. She wanted to reach out and take her wife's hand in her own, but she knew better than that.

"W-w-was that the only time?" Maura finally stammered out, her heart cracking like it was made of fine glass.

"Yes." Jane eyed her wife carefully, unsure whether to keep her answers succinct or to try and explain, but then every thought that ran around her head sounded weak and pitiful and like nothing but an excuse. She hung her head and worked anxiously at the scar on her left hand.

"Who was it?"

Jane shook her head vehemently, "God, no Maur, don't do this to yourself. I did this, I broke us. Please forgive me honey, please?" She looked up through her teary eyes and begged, knowing that it probably wouldn't make a difference.

Maura tilted her head in thought; the calmness on her face was rather disconcerting for the detective. Finally hazel eyes narrowed and the calm disappeared, replaced with a vicious understanding. "Erica," she almost snarled.

"I'm so sorry sweetie." Jane forgot her own inner warning and reached out for the now shaking hands that belonged to her wife. "Please, I didn't intend for it to happen… I… Maur?"

Maura shrugged her hands away from the detective and shook her head, "Don't touch me."

"Okay," she pulled her hands back and held them up in front of herself as an indicator she had heard. "Okay."

"Why did you tell me? What am I supposed to do with this Jane?" Maura asked, a trace of desperation mixing with the sadness that spilled forth.

She combed both hands through her hair, trying to think. Why had she done this? She knew that this could only end one way, but she had done this anyway. Would it really have hurt Maura not to know? "Because I couldn't look you in the eye and say I want to work on our marriage and not tell you how much I had screwed up. I've always been honest with you Maura; I'm not going to start hiding stuff from you because it's going to hurt."

"Bullshit," Maura spat angrily, "This is nothing more than you trying to assuage your guilt. Don't expect me to make you feel better about this Jane." She stood up and started pacing back and forth, worrying her wedding band as she did so. She stopped pacing and stared at the ring on her finger for a moment before closing her eyes, it was a symbol to represent their love and here she was forced to deal with Jane having betrayed their vows.

"I made a mistake," Jane attempted to explain, but shut up quickly when Maura's eyes shot towards her angrily.

"So tell me Jane, was it good sex? Was it worth risking your marriage? Was it worth hurting me?" Maura spat bitterly, her piercing gaze ensured Jane recognised the questions as the rhetorical ones they were.

"Do you have feelings for her?" The anger had disappeared almost as quickly as it had arrived, replaced with an intense sadness.

Jane swallowed thickly and looked down at her hands. "I don't know," she mumbled weakly, knowing that it was an obvious lie that Maura would no doubt catch. All things considered this was actually going worse than she had imagined. Maura looked like a broken down defeated woman and she had caused that. "I'm sorry."

"Quit apologising Jane, if you were truly sorry you wouldn't have done this in the first place. Are you in love with her?"

"I don't know." She truly didn't, she knew she had strong feelings for Erica, but she was in love with her wife. She couldn't possibly be in love with two people at once, could she? "She just…. She made me feel good Maura and it just…. It happened. It was wrong and I know I've hurt you, but it's not going to happen again."

"I wish I could trust that Jane, I really do." Maura sighed and started pacing again. She didn't know what she was supposed to do in this situation; she knew her mother and father had worked out a bout of his infidelity, but this was different. This was Jane. Whether she realised it or not Maura knew that Jane had real feelings for this woman, otherwise no matter how unhappy she was in their marriage she wouldn't have gone there. She felt the trickle of a warm tear down her cheek when she looked up at Jane and asked, "What am I going to do without my best friend?"

Jane couldn't stand it any further; she jumped up and pulled Maura into a crushing embrace. "I'm not leaving you Maura. I refuse. If you want to kick me out I can't blame you. But you are not losing me, you hear me?"

Maura shrugged out of the embrace and pushed Jane away. In that moment she wanted her wife to hurt as much as she did, so she spat out the most telling hurtful words she could think of. "Get away from me. You're no better than your father Jane. You're just like him."

* * *

 **A/N: Well, firstly let me say to those of you who are interested in a story that is not the usual fare, welcome. To the people that don't like the story, that's fine, I warned you, so I expect you won't be back for more. Thirdly, I did not and have not ever written reviews for my own work, that's redundant. I know I like my story idea, because I am writing it. I don't need to pretend to like my work because a few people don't like it. It just so happens a couple of intelligent readers interested in some more rounded fallible rizzoli and isles fiction supported my idea... I appreciate their thoughts. I appreciate all thoughts that are not personally derogatory, I welcome anybody commenting on the individual characters and their progression... I'm not writing this to make you like or dislike a particular character... I'm writing this because sometimes, it's real life.**

 **Onwards and upwards. Thanks to you all who have commented and followed, and a few of you that have already favourited... I guess some people DO want to read this story after all.**

 **EDIT: How can I be any clearer... I have NO INTENTIONS for a happy rizzles as a couple ending, but I REFUSE to rule it out, because I do not plan stories... I let them write themselves. SO DO NOT READ THIS IN HOPE OF RIZZLES... if it turns out to end in Rizzles I will update when its COMPLETE. There... happy now? Sheesh. I am not trying to mislead anyone, I just REFUSE TO HEM MY MUSE IN!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Trigger warning, child victim mentioned this chapter (Not Liam, I'm not that horrible).  
**

* * *

 _"_ _Get away from me. You're no better than your father Jane. You're just like him."_

Maura's eyes burned with an angry intensity that Jane had never seen before and the sharp barb hit where it hurt. Jane stumbled back and fell down onto the couch absolutely shattered by the words. She opened her mouth to reply but found that she had nothing she could say to the accusation. Instead she clamped her mouth shut and glared angrily at her wife; she couldn't blame her for the low blow, but it sure as hell raised her hackles.

 _Everywhere you look now, murder incorporated, murder incorporated._

Jane's Bruce Springsteen inspired ringtone for dispatch broke the silence that engulfed the room. She retrieved the phone from the coffee table and answered gruffly, her eyes never leaving Maura. "Rizzoli!"

Maura rolled her eyes at the ringtone, suddenly perturbed by her wife's sense of humour, but before she could say anything she watched the colour drain from Jane's face and instinctively knew it was bad. Suddenly her own phone cut through the air (a standard ringtone) and she walked over to the kitchen island and snatched it up, "This is Doctor Rizzoli."

Maura's call ended before Jane's and she waited patiently to ask for details, because she was not on call but the Governor had specifically requested that she, as the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, attend this body. The look on her wife's face didn't bode well, finally her call finished and Maura said, "They didn't tell me anything beyond Governor Holcomb wanting me on this personally…"

Jane shook her head and started for the door, "I wish you didn't have to see this one Maur. I'm sick already thinking about it." Regardless of the emotional upheaval that they were in the midst of, the crime scene they were about to attend was going to be awful and she wasn't sure how to tell her wife the victim was a young child. It was the one thing about her job she really, really hated; especially now that she had a child of her own.

Maura sighed sadly; they had done enough cases together for her to read between the lines. "I'll see you there, detective."

* * *

 _"_ _Damn, you look like crap Jane." Erica observed, stepping aside to allow the homicide detective inside._

 _"_ _Just dropped Maura and Liam off at the airport, they're off to visit with Constance in New York. I couldn't go with them because I'm on call." Jane explained with a shrug, sauntering through the ADA's apartment like a woman on a mission. She made a beeline straight for the kitchen and an ice cold beer, she grabbed a second for Erica and returned to the living room and handed her one of the bottles._

 _Erica accepted the offering, from her own fridge, with a small chuckle. "Anyone would think you owned the place the way you just march in here and help yourself." She joined the detective on the couch and flipped on the television. She selected ESPN to watch the Red Sox matchup with the Detroit Tigers, because there was no way either woman wanted to watch anything else._

 _Jane smirked and tossed a brief glance sideways at her friend and joked, "It's part of the Rizzoli charm."_

 _Erica feigned a cough, "Arrogance," she laughed and took a swig of her beer, watching as the Red Sox starting line-up was shown on screen._

Jane drummed at the steering wheel as she drove towards the crime scene in Back Bay. She chewed on her lip anxiously while her brain continued to replay the happenings of Friday night on a loop in her head. She couldn't escape what had happened even with an impending crime scene to attend and the undoubted awkwardness that Frankie and Korsak would pick up on easily.

She slammed her hand against the horn when she was cut off by some idiotic driver. Any other night she might have pulled his ass over, but she just wanted to get to the scene and get it over and done with in the hope that the focus on working out the responsible party in the death of a child could keep her own issues from haunting her heart and mind.

 _"_ _Josh Rutledge has impressed this season, batting over .300," Erica commented sometime in the fifth inning. She was concerned by the lack of animation coming from the other side of the couch, especially given that Pablo Sandoval had just hit a three run scoring deep ball to put the Red Sox in front._

 _"_ _Yeah," Jane barely acknowledged with a heavy sigh, her thoughts drifting elsewhere. As much as she tried she just couldn't get into the game, which should have been reason enough to make an excuse to leave, because she knew Erica was tenacious when she sensed something was wrong. For once she just wanted to keep her marital problems in her own head, she felt guilty for constantly laying it out on the attorney, but then Erica never complained, just listened gracefully._

 _"_ _What's eatin' you Jane? You've hardly said a word since the second inning." Erica shifted on the couch, bringing one leg up under herself so that she could face her friend._

 _"_ _Not tonight Erica," Jane replied warningly, hoping her tone would dissuade the ADA. She should have known better._

 _"_ _Jane," it was just one word, but the detective couldn't help but turn her head and pay attention. "A problem shared is a problem halved."_

 _Jane made a noise that resembled a scoffing laugh. Her first thought was that Maura would argue the accuracy of such statement, because sharing a problem didn't immediately equate to halving the problem. It was still the same problem, just now someone else knew about it. With a roll of her eyes she said, "That saying makes no sense and you know it."_

 _Erica shook her head, shoved Jane in the shoulder and laughed, "Whatever you say, Doctor Rizzoli."_

 _Jane sighed and returned her attention to the television. "Let's just watch the game."_

 _"_ _What happened now?" Erica's question was laced with genuine concern, because she knew Jane had been struggling in her marriage._

 _"_ _You're not gonna let this go are you?"_

 _"_ _Nope!" Erica answered, a satisfied smile turning up the corners of her mouth, because she knew she would be getting her way._

 _Jane shifted to mirror Erica's position of one leg under her body and one hanging off the couch so that they were now facing one another. "She just sprung this trip on me last minute and I know that's because of Constance, but damnit Erica I was looking forward to spending time with my son this weekend."_

 _Always one to play devil's advocate the ADA countered, "It's not like her mother is in the country that often. Can you really blame her for wanting to see her? You said it yourself, you're on call, Liam is better off with her this weekend, because who knows when you'll be called in and if you are there'd be no time for him anyway!"_

 _"_ _Don't use your goddamn lawyer logic on me Erica," Jane huffed, still feeling discontent. "We were meant to spend time together as a family this weekend!"_

 _That was the real crux of it, outside of work she hadn't seen much of her wife either because of the way they were managing their schedules to make sure one or the other was available as often as possible to watch Liam. Their on call hours often differed, as did their days off. Most times if they were lucky an on call day would coincide with a day off and they could try to make the most of it. Most times it worked out fine, but lately family time was being interrupted by the murderous population of Boston and it was driving Jane up the wall. Additionally Jane didn't have the flexibility of being her own boss and the scheduling power that brought about; Maura had been able to curtail her hours to be a very present parent, while Jane had to continue working long hours to solve the inundation of murders in the city._

 _"_ _I'm sorry Jane," Erica said with a gentle pat of the detective's knee._

 _Jane's eyes flicked to the hand on her knee and back up to open, genuine, caring eyes. "I spend more time with you than my own wife, Erica."_

 _"_ _We're friends, and my schedule is a little more accommodating." She offered apologetically, unaware of the circles her thumb had starting rubbing into the knee beneath her hand._

 _Jane rolled her eyes, she couldn't help it. "You're a freakin' ADA, you're just as damn busy as I am."_

 _"_ _And your point?" Erica asked with the quirk of an eyebrow, her upper body leaning a little closer towards the detective._

 _"_ _I… forget what it was… now." Jane stumbled through, her heart rate elevating as her own body betrayed her and leaned towards the attorney._

 _Both women searched each other's eyes rapidly as they gave in to the pull within their bodies pushing them together. Eyes fluttered closed, but before they gave into the need coursing through their bodies Jane pulled away and averted her eyes. "I should go."_

 _Erica unconsciously licked her licks and nodded, standing to follow the detective to the door. "Yeah."_

Jane found a parking spot down the road from the victim's address and turned the vehicle off. Her thoughts lingered on the almost kiss and the thought that it should have ended there. She had done the right thing and pulled away in time and made a move to leave. So why the hell had she turned back around? The ache in her chest only served to confuse her. Was it aching from the hurt she had caused Maura or because of her desire to be near Erica? She slammed her palm into the steering wheel before slumping back in her seat. She needed to compose herself before she went on the scene.

 _"_ _Jane," her name was laced with such vulnerability the detective couldn't help but turn around. Erica offered up an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry… I didn't… I mean…" She gave up trying to find the words and let her hands, which had become animated during her attempt to communicate, slump back down by her side._

I think we should see a little less of each other for a while.

 _Jane's lips crashed into Erica's with a ferocious intensity. Her hand's fell onto hips and aggressively tugged the attorney into her body in an attempt to satisfy the growing need burning within. She knew better, God she knew better but she was tired of fighting._

* * *

There was an unnatural quiet that accompanied this crime scene; the usual banter between detectives and officers was non existent and the CSRU techs went about their jobs silently and efficiently. Somehow Maura had made it onto the scene before Jane, which the detective put down to her stupid flashbacks that caused her to recompose herself in the privacy of her unmarked cruiser.

"Jane," Detective Sergeant Vince Korsak greeted quietly, leading her towards the victim.

She had to bring her hand to her mouth in fear she wouldn't be able to push back the bile that wanted to escape at the sight of a boy with similar sandy locks to those of her own son. A quick glance at Maura told her that her wife, commonly known as the Queen of the Dead, was struggling with her own professionalism too. "What do ya know Korsak?"

They stood off to the side while Maura performed the preliminary examination. He said, "Kid looks like he was strangled, got bruising around his throat, but I'm sure the Doc will let us know for sure once she's done the autopsy. It's not just the kid though Jane, we got a female vic, Shirley Robinson, 35, in the next room. The kid's her son Todd, five years old. Grandmother found them; Frankie's taken her back to the station to talk to her. Neighbours didn't report seeing or hearing anything out of the ordinary."

Jane nodded, her eyes skirting the room, briefly landing on her wife who looked up and nodded curtly before standing and turning to talk with her staff, she was ready for the body to be removed. "So Shirley's the target and Todd was collateral damage?"

Korsak shrugged as he walked towards the second victim in the bedroom down the hall. "Looks that way. How cruel ya gotta be to kill the kid though?" He shook his head in disgust; the depravities he had seen in his years on the force were certainly wearing him down.

"A spouse in the picture?" Jane questioned absently, her heart lurching at the despair she could see hidden in the depths of Maura's eyes when she stepped past to begin her examination of Shirley.

Instinctively she stepped behind her wife and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. She felt Maura flinch under her touch and had to fight the desire to yank her hand away. Her desire to comfort Maura was outweighing the reality of their broken marriage, which meant she was only making it worse for her emotionally reserved wife. "Sorry," she muttered quietly, withdrawing her hand.

As a man who had been divorced three times, Korsak knew the tell tale signs of a marriage on the rocks and he had been seeing little signs adding up during the past six months. Those little things had apparently finally added up to a major fracture, if the signals he was reading were correct. He shook his head imperceptibly at the implications he imagined. Jane and Maura were the dream team when it came to clearing homicides, but that was when they were getting along. They had only ever had one major falling out that he could remember, but that two week period was hell on everyone, especially the detectives that walked into Jane's line of sight. He shuddered at the thought of Jane's marriage failing.

"Vince?" Jane asked harshly, pulling the senior detective from his thoughts.

"Oh, right. No spouse that we're aware of; kid's father split a few years ago."

"Should follow up, make sure he hasn't come back in the picture or if there's anyone else." Jane said, mostly as a mental note to herself.

Maura stood and turned to the detectives, "I place time of death to be six to eight hours ago for both victims. I will need to perform full autopsies to confirm cause of death for both."

"Thanks Mau… Doctor Rizzoli." Jane corrected herself hesitantly at the look of disdain in her wife's eyes. Yup, working with the woman she had broken was going to be so much fun.

"Detectives," Maura said firmly indicating she was done with them, before turning and signing the second body over for removal.

Korsak frowned and gently nudged Jane out of the apartment and onto the street. He was surprised that she went willingly, but as soon as they had rounded a corner where they were afforded some privacy he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. "Cryin' for the kid or Maura?"

"Both," Jane choked out honestly. She knew she wasn't going to be able to get anything past her Sergeant and former partner; he had been in the detective business for a long time.

He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and said, "Honestly Janie, I ain't ever seen anyone look at each other like you and Maura do…"

"Did," she corrected, a little harshly for even her own liking.

He frowned, "You can get it back, ya just gotta take some time for each other. Get away, go on a holiday just you and the Doc."

Jane shook her head and uncharacteristically wrapped herself around the man who had become somewhat of a father figure to her in the previous few years. She sobbed into his shoulder, accepting the reassuring if not awkward pats on the back he offered. "I screwed up big time," she sobbed out, "I don't think I can fix this."

Korsak pulled her out to arms length and ducked his head to meet her gaze, as she hung her head low and tried to avoid it. He heaved a heavy sigh when he saw the regret in her eyes, "Well shit Janie," he breathed out, "What did you do?"

Jane straightened herself out and looked him head on, she deserved whatever she had coming and as her Sergeant, he needed to know the potential for working conflict she had caused. Swallowing thickly she said, "I cheated on Maura."

Korsak shook his head; yep, this was worse than that last time they fought. He was incredibly disappointed but all he could think to say was, "Oh boy!"

* * *

 **A/N: My thanks to all the polite, conscientious readers out there. Special thanks to JustAGirl, Avid Reader and thegirlin404 for your insights. Thanks again for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

The heaviness that settled in her gut combined effortlessly with the ache in her chest as she stood in the doorway to autopsy watching the tender reverence with which Maura worked. Jane shifted anxiously from foot to foot before tapping into her natural swagger and entering the room fully. She pulled up opposite her wife, who remained an impassive fortress of concentration. She sighed heavily, but before she could get a word in she was pre-empted by the medical examiner.

"I will let you know when I have completed my report, Detective Rizzoli." Maura simply didn't have it in her to look up at her wife, let alone refer to her by her Christian name. She needed to maintain a professional distance for the sake of her sanity, because if she let those thoughts in she wouldn't be able to do her job.

Jane nodded, unsure whether her wife even noticed and turned on her heel to leave. She knew better than to mess with Maura's composure on a case like this, because it was hard enough when life was going well and they had each other for much needed emotional support. She clenched her hands into fists, angry with herself for putting them in the crappy situation they were in.

She paused in the doorway when her mind flashed back to Korsak's reaction from at the crime scene. After he had gotten over his initial shock he had shaken his head and walked away. No words were needed to express his deep disappointment.

She exhaled nervously and looked back at her wife. "Once this case is resolved, I'm taking a leave of absence."

Maura's head snapped up at those words and her brain was unable to nip the angry retort in the bud. "Running away from your problems, detective?"

Jane resisted the urge to punch the doors and stalked back into the room, standing on the other side of the gurney that Shirley Robinson lay to rest on. "I am not running away," Jane ground out carefully, "I will sit down and discuss our marriage until I'm blue in the face if that's what you want, _doctor_. I just thought you would appreciate the space, and detectives are a dime a dozen, the best God damned medical examiner on the east coast, not so much."

"And you deign to believe you know what I want?" Maura's tone was crisp and cutting.

Jane focused on counting down from ten in an attempt to quell the rage building within. "Hell if know Maura, you never damned well tell me anything anymore!" Her words were bitter. Her anger bubbled under the surface.

With an angry huff of air Maura slipped off her latex gloves and tossed them in the waste basket and stalked towards her office. Jane followed close behind, shutting the door between autopsy and the office, before locking the door between the office and the hall and closing the blinds on the internal windows. Maura followed every movement with an angry glare and was half tempted to just kick Jane out of her office and her life; she was that hurt.

Confident that they were alone and unable to be interrupted Jane faced Maura and spoke with a trace of exasperation, "Alright let me have it. Slap, yell, accuse, deride…. Whatever makes you feel better for a moment and then can we please talk like adults?"

Maura could not believe her ears, sure it made perfect Jane sense to have it out and try to move on from there, but how exactly was she supposed to be an adult about the situation when she hadn't even had time to process it? She was being thrown from emotional pillar to post, first by the revelation of infidelity and then by the horror of needing to find answers for a murdered child and his mother. A child that bore an uncomfortable resemblance to her own son.

They stood staring at one another, the physical distance between them a striking reminder of how things had changed. This was the sort of evening where they would normally take what comfort they could from one another in the moments they had alone before soldiering on. Maura needed that comfort badly and she suspected Jane did too, but everything was just too raw and it was draining to hold back her desire to flay the detective alive, figuratively of course.

Eventually she broke the silence when she stammered out, "I j-j-just can't…"

"Can't what? Can't adult? Sorry to tell you but it's kinda necessary, since you're, y'know, an adult." Jane snapped harshly, instantly regretting her tone. She knew that Maura was overwhelmed emotionally and that her attitude wasn't helping. She knew that she really had no right to be angry and exasperated, she had brought this on herself and she should take her medicine, no matter how it was doled out.

Jane quickly drew her hands up and back, palms out to indicate an apology, "I'm sorry, that came out a lot angrier than I intended." She knew the worst of it was the fact she had dragged their personal issues into the workplace; granted it was after ten pm and only the bare minimum of staff were floating around in the crime lab due to the importance placed on the case by the Governor, but it was still disrespectful of Maura's need to maintain professionalism.

Maura worried absently at her wedding band while her gaze assessed the tired, dishevelled detective standing before her. It struck her then that Jane looked like she had hardly slept a wink all weekend. For a moment she felt sorry for the detective but then she remembered exactly what she had done and anger flashed across her face. She needed space, so begrudgingly she had to accept Jane's earlier assessment; although she needed personal space more than she needed professional space, it was easy enough to avoid each other for most of the day if necessary.

"I need you to not come home tonight Jane. I need some time and space to process what you told me." Maura spoke with a calmness that belied the churning of her gut; she absolutely loathed that it had come to this.

"Maura…" Jane started to protest immediately, more because she felt unease at the fact there was still an unknown person on the loose responsible for the death of a woman and her son. Sure it was most likely personal and even if it was something more insidious the odds of her own family being the target were ridiculously small, but it was this exact sort of thing that tugged at her protective streak. She'd sit outside in her cruiser if she had to; she just wasn't ready to leave Maura and Liam alone with some child killer on the loose.

Her eyes must have given away her thoughts because Maura sighed heavily and bridged the gap between them. She picked up Jane's hands and held them softly in her own despite the fact it went against every fibre of her being that screamed at her not to get too close to the detective. "Jane, you know the odds of Liam and I becoming victims to this person are infinitesimally small. You're just feeling heightened emotionally due to everything that is happening and while I know you're scared for us, there is no need to be. I need space, and you need to be able to sleep properly, so no sleeping outside the house in your car."

Jane slipped one hand away from her wife and ran it through her hair, she was a nervous wreck really. Reality was quickly crashing its way on top of her at the realisation that her wife, while standing calmly in front of her, needed space to process and that didn't bode well. How could it possibly after what she had done? She sighed and nervously questioned, "You will talk to me though right? I mean before you decide to kick me out permanently?"

Maura smiled weakly and let go of the other hand she still held. She nodded softly in the affirmative, "Yes."

Jane nodded then abruptly pulled Maura into a tight hug, which she eventually allowed. She whispered in her ear, "Go home, the autopsies can wait til morning." She then pulled away, knowing that she had been pushing her luck. She had just needed to show Maura that she still cared and that she knew exactly the toll that this case was already taking.

Maura nodded absently before remembering one of the discoveries she had already made with the external examination of Shirley Robinson. "She was raped, Jane. I didn't find any semen so the attacker was prepared enough not to leave behind any trace evidence. I just thought you should know. I will take your advice and conclude my examinations in the morning. Get some sleep, detective."

Jane's expression only became more pained at the thought of the female victim being raped. She nodded absently at Maura's advice to get some sleep, which was unlikely to be taken since she wasn't welcome at home. She figured she might as well stay at work, figure out some angles to follow up first thing in the morning and maybe sneak back down to Maura's office to sleep on the couch for a few hours later in the night. She turned for the door and called over her shoulder, "G'night Maur."

* * *

After she had finished up the last of a thorough external examination, Maura returned Shirley Robinson to the confines of the morgue cooler and snuck upstairs, heels in hand so as not to give away her presence, and watched Jane from the entrance into homicide. She only stayed briefly, having stopped to observe the part of Jane she knew she could still respect: the hard working homicide detective. She left with a sad shake of the head and returned home a little after eleven.

The lights were still on in the guesthouse, and without really thinking about how obviously her features would broadcast her heartache, she knocked softly at the door. She simply needed to see Liam while he slept to remind herself that he was safe and that there was still one very bright spot in her life.

Angela Rizzoli opened the door very quickly, as if she had been expecting a late night visitor. She was wrapped tightly in a lavender coloured robe and opened up her arms immediately upon seeing Maura. She felt the weight of the medical examiner press into her body, arms wrap tightly around her back and she knew then that something was very wrong. "Come, come inside baby," she gently steered Maura to the couch, with an arm wrapped around her shoulder, before gently sitting her down.

Angela sat down next to her daughter in law and gently patted her knee. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong? Or would you like me to make you a soothing cup of tea while you look in on my beautiful grandbaby?

Maura nodded weakly her body making the decision for her; she was up on her feet and walking towards the office space that had been converted into a spare room for Liam's odd overnight stay. She watched from the doorway as he slept peacefully, wrapped up in his favourite comforter. Just seeing him allowed some of the tension she was feeling melt away, but it wasn't enough. She crossed the room and placed a soft kiss to his forehead, mindful not to disturb his sleep. She then retreated, closing the door behind her with full knowledge that she was about to walk into an ambush.

Maura sat back down and graciously accepted the cup of tea that Angela handed her. "Thank you Angela."

Angela sat down in an armchair opposite the couch and clasped her hands in her lap. She had sensed earlier in the evening when asked to take care of Liam it was for a serious reason and she worried about her daughters, besides being married to Jane, Maura had long felt like a daughter to the Rizzoli family matriarch. She didn't want her girls to be fighting or struggling within their marriage, but she had seen the signs. It was frustrating not to meddle, but it had been a promise she had to make to Jane before she would even think of proposing.

 _"_ _I need to talk to you Ma," Jane had said to alert her mother to the fact a serious conversation needed to be had. "But you need to listen and promise not to say anything to anyone, especially not Maura okay?"_

 _Angela rounded the kitchen island and sat down next to her daughter, all the while making hand signals across her lips to suggest they were sealed. "What's up Janie?"_

 _Jane simply stared at her mother sternly, "Promise me Ma."_

 _"_ _Alright, alright I promise to keep this conversation to myself."_

 _She continued staring at her mother for a few moments before nodding as if to say 'okay I believe you' and digging around in her pocket to pull out a ring box, which she sat on the bench top in front of them. "I wanna ask her to marry me."_

 _Angela had squealed with delight and grabbed her daughter up in a fierce hug, ignoring all the squirming the younger woman did to get free. "Oh baby I am so happy for you!"_

 _After finally extricating herself from the embrace Jane said, "She hasn't said yes yet. Besides, I needed to run something by you first."_

 _Angela calmed herself down and sat back down; she couldn't wipe the grin from her face though, no matter how hard she tried to take the rest of the conversation seriously. Her Janie was going to get married, because she had no doubt that Maura would say yes, she had never seen two people more in love. "Okay Janie, shoot."_

 _This was the hard part for Jane, because she loved her mother, she really did, but she needed space in her relationship. She needed the hovering helicopter aspect of her mother switched off and she felt bad about the way she was going about it, but it had to be done. "First let me just say I love you Ma, without you I wouldn't be here. The thing is, I need the space to make my own decisions and mistakes in this relationship without my mother, who lives with us, interfering." She couldn't help the roll of her eyes at the fact she had allowed Maura into talking her into letting her mother stay once she had moved in._

 _"_ _I need you to promise me you will stay out of my relationship with Maura and that you won't meddle. Because I don't think I can take this to the next level if I feel like you're always looking over my shoulder." She looked pointedly at her mother, "Which you practically do from proximity alone. Maura loves having you in the guest house and I am not gonna argue that Ma, as long as you let me be. I'm not gonna ask her if you can't promise me that!" It was cruel, but God did she need out from under her mother._

 _Angela's eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, but she eventually relaxed and nodded her agreement. She couldn't blame her daughter for wanting a little more freedom, even if it did hurt a little bit. Still she had a condition of her own, "I promise you Janie I will stay out of it, so long as you treat Maura right."_

 _Jane's smile beamed back at her mother before she placed a quick kiss on the matriarch's cheek. "Always."_

Snapping out of her reverie Angela looked over towards Maura with sad eyes. "Janie made me promise not to interfere in your marriage, and I like to think I've done a good job at that."

Maura offered a weak smile and some confirmation. "You have been wonderful Angela."

"But I told my daughter that I would only keep that promise as long as she treated you right." Angela didn't miss the slight flinch her words caused and she sighed heavily, just as she suspected. "What did she do to hurt you?"

Maura placed the cup she had been nursing down on the coffee table and shook her head. "You will need to talk to Jane about that, Angela. I…" she sighed; she had known this would happen because Angela was a perceptive woman, but she just wasn't ready to deal with the reality of the situation yet. "I should go."

It was not easy following Maura to the door knowing that the mother of her grandbaby was clearly hurting and not being able to do much about it, nor pry further, because it was obvious this was something she needed to hear from Jane herself. "Maura," she said softly, "You're my daughter too." She then welcomed Maura into her arms for a brief but telling hug before watching her return to the main house.

Angela Rizzoli shut the door gently before turning and leaning back against it. She closed her eyes and shook her head, she had a terrible feeling that Jane had really gone and done it this time. She just hoped for both her girl's sake it was something that could be rectified.

* * *

 **A/N: A few people seem to have the impression that Jane is going to be getting away with everything and that everyone will rally around her while Maura gets left out in the cold. I just ask that you have patience, because sometimes my stories take time to unravel, and it is definitely not going to be rainbows and kittens for Jane.**

JustAGirl, in response to your question, I had intended that to be Jane's thought at that time, usually when I write thoughts I write them in italics, except during flashbacks I write them standard, but I do understand where the confusion lies given the style of flashback I wrote where it differentiated between the here and then. So that was essentially Jane's last thought before she turned around and ignored everything her conscience was yelling at her.

 **I removed the pairing following a discussion with one reviewer, just to save confusion I guess. My interpretation of a pairing is if there is a romantic relationship between the characters, and there is, it's just very much strained and embarking on troubled waters. I however could see a slightly altered view of pairing being for the sake of indicating a happy ending to the relationship in the story, and as such decided to err on the side of caution and remove the pairing of Jane/Maura.**

 **Anyways, I have not forgotten this story, I've just been formulating the rest of the plot for The Catch 22 Killer and recharging my batteries. Hope you enjoy, thanks for reading and reviewing, favouriting and following. Please, be kind or constructive.**


End file.
